25/07/24

🍫 Mercury?
💎 [I/We] have been [dwelling/meditating] on the [dream/cascade/transition]
🍫 Oh.
🍫 You knew I was going to talk about it?
💎 [Yes/Affirm]
🍫 Huh. Okay.
🍫 It's just - I haven't had a nightmare like that for a while.
🍫 It's always so painful.
💎 [You/We] are not [to blame/at fault] for the [mistakes/transgressions] of others
🍫 I know. I know that.
🍫 It's just left me with this... implacable anger. Why do I spook myself like that?
🍫 Reliving old trauma, but, like, perverted. Wrong. It feels like there's nothing I can do about it.
🍫 I don't know. I'm having a hard time articulating it.
💎 Does it [ease/relax] [your/our] [mind/fractal/locus] to [speak/describe] it?
🍫 Kinda. I don't know.

🍫 I mean... I remember being injected multiple times in the stomach. This sickly green colouration spreading up my stretch marks.
🍫 I felt the pain of the needle going in. Six times in total. It just stung like hell. It was so violent, too. Plunge after plunge.
🍫 The person injecting me didn't even care. I was so angry, but, like...
🍫 It felt like I couldn't do anything. Like, this was just procedure, and it sucked, but it was normal, so what could I do?
🍫 I went home afterwards and got really sick. I woke up in a hospital bed. Treated for sepsis or whatever. Apparently I briefly flatlined.
🍫 I don't know. It was really scary.

🍫 It reminded me of my scars. Touching my stretch marks just feels weird now.
🍫 It's been troubling me so much that I haven't even been able to draw stuff. Everything's been coming out in weird proportions.
🍫 Maybe I'm dissociating a bit? I don't know.
💎 [Possible/Likely]
💎 [I am/We are] sorry [I/we] do not have any [wisdom/clarification] to share
💎 It is good [you/we] [spoke/shared] this
💎 [Confronting/Addressing] it is a step forward, if only a step
🍫 Yeah. Maybe.