31/07/24 ♦ The Whirling Wheel

i feel the impulse to describe 👁‍🗨 THE WHIRLING WHEEL bc ive been struggling to put it all into a "chatlog" format for a while...

the Wheel is essentially the embodiment of a persistent phenomenon we've observed for the past few years - during the quiet moments where we're not really thinking about much, there's often a persistent, babbling monologue, kinda like radio stations overlapping that we tune in and out of. the result can be very interesting - the conversation about alchemists wasting their time was an actual internal convo we had - or it can be depressing and sometimes just annoying

🍫 i suppose this is a sort of confession, then, if only to myself. for the longest time, i haven't understood the wheel. i took them to be a hostile, invasive presence. not a part of us, a polluting thing that only turns up to make things worse. i'm not afraid to say i was wrong. i do regret being wrong. i regret not trying to understand them, too. i guess in lieu of their form being what it is i was so spooked that i forgot the old adage "be not afraid", hehe

the Wheel takes the form of an opan (as in ophanim, as described by ezekiel). their true form is unknowable; believe me, we've tried to depict them, but we've only ever seen flashes, and no concrete "design" ever feels right. imagine a band of gold with multitudinous eyes, each aligned vertically rimwise (so like >=(•)(•)(•)=>, yknow). and theres wings. white, occasionally black-tipped feathers. we don't know how many, not even the Wheel knows lol. whoever feels their presence strongest can even see a kind of golden 'backing halo' around their head that widens at the top and narrows as it comes down, it has no spiritual significance though it just means we're either depressed or in our element

that's another thing - it's only recently that we've realised the halo also appears when we're in a flow state. the Wheel describes it as "stars only being visible at night" (paraphrasing) but it makes sense - when we're at our darkest and the fog rolls in, we see it super clearly, but when it's light and everything feels magical we just can't see it

anyway. thats a thing. make the weird voice in your head your friend, it'll be fun